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Submitted on
August 21, 2010
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On a sunny Sunday morning a girl walked into a vintage shop, smelling of coffee and tobacco, and said,
"I would like to buy a heart, today."

A boy, dressed in a grey vest and plaid shirt, smiled mischievously from his book
He was the type of…indie vintage boy. Type of prince perfect you found on the covers of a magazine, though not as flawless. But his crinkling emerald eyes were so intriguing, and his ruffled hair was attractive.

'We have many hearts; which type do you prefer?'
The boy's voice was low but sweet, like rich flowing honey.
First there are the big, loving kinds---;
Translucent and sunshine streams through it when you hold it up high to the sky
But they shatter like glass, breakable, and brittle.'

'Then there are these small ones..
Gold painted and still beautiful, I would say
They are lined with metal frames and a silver, unbreakable cage
But they are so heavy, and worrisome, and easy to lose,
But don't get me wrong---they never break.'

'but oh…' the girl hesitated. 'I want one that is big and loving, but unbreakable too!'
'sorry,' the boy grinned again, and walked her to the door.
'I don't have the kind you're talking about, in my store.
But you can always make one yourself,' He said, opening the wooden entrance.

The New York traffic and beeping cars and skyscrapers awaited her.

Stars shot through his eyes again, a mysterious thing that held her gaze.
'Don't try coming here again, too.' He said. 'I'll be closing down this shop, my most expected customer has already come.'
Then, still holding the girl's curious gaze, he walked to the cupboards, where the hearts were kept, and showed her its emptiness, its inexistence.

'here is the truth- I don't have any hearts to sell to you at all. we already have one of the hearts that you're talking about,' the boy pointed to his chest. 'it's in here by nature.'

'but they are not strong enough, and they need experience and they need to be broken many times, before it is strong and beautiful, and it's something money can't buy.
Some people get so unbreakable, but their hearts lose their transparency and illumination…and others hearts shatter altogether because they've let too much harming causes in, and too much light out.

Almost no one has a perfect heart---but you can be close to perfect, if you try.'

~
Almost no one has a perfect heart---but you can be close to perfect, if you try.

:+fav: please thank you!

:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:
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:iconthe-writers-review:

This is quite interesting. It is a lovely concept, that you can't create a heart for someone. The type of heart they have is built through experience. And it is so true. There are a few things I find odd, though.

For example, the way you structure the piece is a little odd. You break the lines up like it's a poem, but it's clearly not because there is no flow to it. I just find it a bit odd. I'd love for you to explain it to me.

Also, the piece is almost entirely dialogue. This could be an incredibly interesting and surreal short story if you add some meat to it. I would really love it if there was something other than dialogue.

On the other hand, I do really love the concept. It is a lovely, interesting, very romantic concept, in my opinion. And there are quite few lines that I find wonderful, such as this one:

"Stars shot through his eyes again, a mysterious thing that held her gaze."

All in all, it is a really nice piece.
What do you think?
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gul18 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
great
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khondjii Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
I had tried everything I was able to regain my independence using this I was able to fill a void in my life you are perfect for this
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bboibang Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013
Kiss those diets good bye. Lose pounds fast the easy way. Take a look!
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Raincen Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013
How to Start Your Own Business
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RussianCheerios Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012
I really do love your writing style~ reading the story, I could really envision all that was going on~ I want you to join :iconamazinganimegirl: and I's newest group :iconthe-writers-study:.
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:iconsavannahwu:
savannahwu Featured By Owner May 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i like the descriptions of the two types of hearts :heart:
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